To all the mothers and fathers on Nanny 911 who can’t get their 7 year olds to go to bed before 3AM because they’re too busy ripping tubes and playing PS3, I present exhibit A. If this dude can train a fucking monkey to be cool wearing a JC Penny blouse while balancing upside down on a goat; and can get the fucking goat to agree to stand there and be used like a zoological jungle gym, then they can whip their little shit stains into shape.

The solution? Once again… Asians. They might not look so tough, but remember the hurt the Japanese put on us in WWII. I’ll bet one night with this guy could turn a household full of 8 year old Robin Williams’ into the quite, respectful Asians I remember from grade school. Plus as an added bonus they would be able to simultaneously balance a checkbook, play Handel’s Messiah on the piano and program your VCR. Now that’s what I call an offspring.